Sunday, December 20, 2009

Sometimes I Need to Forget

(Riffing off of Vodka Mom)

Sometimes I need you, sometimes I want to think I came from another world, that I have no Earthly ties or memories or feelings. But when the ornaments come out, at this time of year, your ghostly caresses are lovingly cold and irresistible. Too cold for me, too strong. My wife knows it, and she has at least the strength to say, "These feeling are too much!"

Me? I walk past the decorated tree, with its mutt-world of ornaments, some from my life, some from my kids, some from lives no longer flickering, and I realized this morning I haven't looked directly at the tree. I have been very tired, and I wonder if looking at my family's ornaments, and the emotion that they would require, has been beyond me. I'll wait another day or two, as I'm getting stronger everyday. But I will look at them and remember not that only one set of hands is left to hang them, but many hands went into the memories they hold.

3 comments:

  1. I'm not sure, but I think the fact that it's a non-living tree makes it worse. Plastic Roses and all that...
    Please read the book I just finished. I'm actually begging you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I had the same reaction to VM's post as I inherited so many ornaments made by my Mom. More years have gone by for me, so I think it's easier to find the joy in them. Still, it can be a hard season. Give yourself the time.

    ReplyDelete

Please don't take me too seriously.